How The Permission Principle Began
About Me
I’m Lucy Rocca - founder of Soberistas and creator of the Permission Principle.
But before all of that, I was a woman who had spent years people-pleasing, putting everyone else first, and using alcohol to numb pain I didn’t know how to face.
I drank to feel confident.
I drank to cope.
I drank because I didn’t know another way.
For a while, it worked.
Until it didn’t.
In 2011, after one particularly sobering wake-up call, I realised I couldn’t carry on.
I didn’t want to lose everything. But I also didn’t want to spend the rest of my life negotiating with alcohol.
So I stopped drinking.
But the bigger change didn’t come from removing alcohol alone.
What I slowly began to realise was that drinking had never really been the root of the problem. It had been a way of coping with a life where I had lost touch with my own needs, voice and direction.
Removing alcohol forced me to start asking different questions.
Who was I actually living for?
What did I really want?
And why had I spent so many years putting myself last?
I started writing about the experience with complete honesty.
Those conversations eventually led to the creation of Soberistas, an online community for women who didn’t fit the stereotypes around alcohol but still knew something had to change.
Through that work I began hearing thousands of stories from women navigating the same questions.
And slowly it became clear that alcohol was rarely the whole story.
Since Then
I’ve spent the last 14 years supporting thousands of women as they rethink their relationship with alcohol and begin changing the patterns that have been shaping their lives.
Along the way I trained as a certified life coach and NLP practitioner and wrote five books exploring women’s experiences with alcohol.
But the work has never been only about drinking.
Again and again I’ve seen how often alcohol is simply one way of coping with deeper questions about identity, expectations, and the lives we’ve built.
I Don’t Believe You’re Broken
I believe many women have simply spent years living by expectations that no longer fit.
You don’t need a label.
You don’t need to hit rock bottom.
And you don’t need to spend the rest of your life defining yourself by a problem.
What you do need is honesty, clarity, and the space to start making different choices.
That’s the work I offer.
For some women that begins with changing their relationship with alcohol. For others it opens up bigger questions about identity, boundaries, priorities, and the direction their lives are heading.
Either way, the starting point is the same: permission to live differently.
The Foundations of My Work:
More than 14 years alcohol-free
Founder of Soberistas, supporting women worldwide
Certified life coach and NLP practitioner
Published author of five books exploring women and alcohol
Over a decade of real-life experience supporting women navigating change
Deep respect for the intelligence, complexity and strength women bring to this work
When I’m Not Coaching…
You’ll usually find me walking in nature, spending time with my daughters and grandchildren, reading, writing, working out - or occasionally doing absolutely nothing, which I once found impossible and now consider essential.
If This Resonates
If something in my story feels familiar, you’re very welcome to explore the different ways we can work together.
Or, if you’d simply like to follow along with my thinking, you can sign up for my private letters, where I write about alcohol, midlife, identity, and the Permission Principle.